Lesson #4: Thermoose

We have a whole book of anecdotes about adult patients who are admitted to the hospital with their stuffed animals.  The gist of most of these anecdotes is that the number of psychological diagnoses directly correlates to the number of stuffed animals that the patient brings.  Teddy bears automatically count as 2 points on the psychiatric diagnosis scale.  Anything that makes noise when you squeeze it counts as 3 points.
That being said, Jessie and I bought a stuffed moose up on the north shore of Minnesota a few months ago for our “soon-to-arrive” nephew.  After 6 weeks of our pre-purchased baby present sitting on our couch with us, we had a strange growing affinity for Thermoose.  “Good morning, Thermoose”, “Have a good day, Thermoose”, etc.  You will be happy to know that Thermoose stayed in the living room on the couch.  Never in the bathroom, never in the bedroom, once in the kitchen.

Our little nephew, Greysen Alexander Jakes (7 lbs 7 oz 20 in) made an appearance 2 weeks ago in a Helena, MT hospital, and then it was time for Thermoose to make a plane trip to Montana in Jessie’s carry-on.  No, we didn’t check him.  Before his big flight, he got a bath in the washing machine and then laid on the deck to dry, but needed a little help drying, so we put him in the oven on low.  Don’t worry, he’s Scandinavian and loves saunas. 

Now flying back home on the plane from Montana, I realized I just thought about that damned moose.  But the thing that is different in my case is that he is a moose; dangerous, antlers, thrives in the Minnesota northland winters, and even has a beer named after his drool.  Most people probably wouldn't even classify him as a stuffed animal.  On the patient/stuffed-animal psychiatric scale, talking bears lead the list, but a moose is actually protective against psychiatric diagnoses I think.  Perhaps a –4 pts.  The fact that I’m thinking about Thermoose on an airplane, probably adds one point, making me still in the negative range at –3 pts.  I guess this is what they mean by closure.