Teaching #3: Never trust someone with a chainsaw in the winter

Telephone Conversation 10 days ago:

Ben: “Dave, can I borrow your chainsaw this weekend?”
Me: “Sure, for what?”
Ben: “Just have to cut a few things up at the cabin.  We’re goin’ up there with a bunch of people this weekend.”
Me: “What few things are you cutting in the middle of winter?”
Ben: “Are you going to be around tomorrow during the day so I could pick it up?” (smooth change of subject)
Me: In my head…Of course not, I work in the middle of every week day.  “No, I’ll be at work.”
Ben: “Ok, well, I’ll just swing over and get it.  Is it in the garage?” In Ben’s head…Great, he won’t be there so I won’t have to explain why I need the chainsaw.

Jessie and I are up at the cabin this weekend.  There seems to be a large hole cut through the ice.  Ice fishing?  Unlikely, as the hole measures a straightly-cut 4’x4’.  There are big fish up here, but 16 sqft seems to be a hole cut for more of a human-size creature.

Can you say “Polar Plunge"?  At first glance I say fun.  At second glance I see my new chainsaw in the frozen lake.  Ben hasn’t returned the chainsaw yet.  Perhaps it is still drying out.  Oh, my little brother.