Teaching #10: Storks are birds that can both shit and fly, right?

Amazing.  That is really all I have to say, but I will say more so you have some idea what I’m talking about.  New little boy with a  penis = things will get peed on while changing diapers.  Jessie has gone through several outfits, as have I.  Jessie got peed in the face yesterday while changing Sam.  Needless to say, Sam blows through 5-6 outfits per night.  No surprise here.  It’s crazy, but not amazing. 

This morning I was changing Sam’s diaper on the changing table (seen in the pic below) and had a cover over his penis to prevent getting peed on.  Yes, we learned eventually.  Then I looked over and there was pee flying 5-6 ft. from the changing table, over the rocking chair, and hitting the wall.  I quickly readjusted the cloth over his penis.  It kept shooting across the room.  “Holy shit,” I said, and Jessie asked what was going on.  It was at that point that I realized I didn’t need to be covering his penis, but rather his butthole.  Yes, Sam shot poop 5-6 ft. across the room this morning from a lying position on his changing table.  Nailed the cushions on the rocking chair, the wall, the floor, his hairbrush, etc.  I’ve seen a picture of projectile pooping when I was a Chief Resident that we used to secretly insert into each others PowerPoint talks, but never really believed it could truly exist.  Either the stork dropped a load late in its flight plan and we missed it for the last 5 days, or else projectile poop really exists.  You can decide for yourself.  Teaching #10?  Cover both the penis and buttocks when changing diapers.  Here’s the proof (Note: these pictures were taken after the initial cleanup effort.  Thus the cottage cheese like particles have been removed from the golden background of poop stain)…